I’m scared of Monday

Tonight I will share my fear with you. I’m extreme nervous. Why? So sit down comfortably and read.

Some time ago, I register me to one website for models. Yeah, I want to be a plus size model. You know, it is no briliant agency, it’s just a page where everyone can register herself like a model and hope that someone notices her. But for the start… good.

And today I got a message. A message from this webside. I shall go to the photo tests for shooting my portfolio. When? On Monday!

It is absolutely crazy because in fact, I can’t posing as I found out. Of course, I tried to practise some poses but there is so many poses and my muscles remember just a few. I don’t have many time and to make thinks worse tomorow I go to Prague for a work. In my flat in Prague is just a little mirror which I can’t see properly my poses in. And of course, I have twelf hours shifts so not too much time for posing.

In fact, here, in my parrent’s house is a little problem with the mirror as well. In my room is just a little mirror. The big mirror is in the living room and I can’t practice my poses when my parrents are there. Today they was away so it was possible. But I come back in the weekend and they will be in the living room. So… I’m screwed.

I must find some calm place with a big mirror. Mission impossible.

Another thing I’m scared from is that I will have acceptable photos and I send it out but no agency replies back. What if is my dream to be a model just a dream what will never become real? What if everything is without a purpose? What if…

But in my life I finished just a few things. Maybe I shouldn’t give it up. Just work on it. But what if all effort will come to nothing and I will never be a model?

But at least I will try it.

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