Today is the day of scary discovery. Yesterday I wrote about not eating chocolate in one evening in the week. And yesterday, I managed that! Yes, it was torturing but I manage that! I’m so happy!
Today it was worse. Yeah, I ate chocolate. Two hundred grams of chocolate to be exact. And with the first bite I felt great. All the tension faded. Suddenly I was absolutly relaxed and I felt big relief.
Continue reading “Two discovers”
Hello, is anybody still there?
It is a classical story about a girl. The girl decide to start loosing weight. She loose nine kilograms but than she stop the diet and start to get fat. That’s my story.
Now, after a year, I want to try it again. And I’m not alone. I have a special therapist about that. But step by step.
Continue reading “I’m on the way of loosing weight… Again”
Tonight I will share my fear with you. I’m extreme nervous. Why? So sit down comfortably and read.
Some time ago, I register me to one website for models. Yeah, I want to be a plus size model. You know, it is no briliant agency, it’s just a page where everyone can register herself like a model and hope that someone notices her. But for the start… good.
And today I got a message. A message from this webside. I shall go to the photo tests for shooting my portfolio. When? On Monday!
Continue reading “I’m scared of Monday”
It isn’t easy to eat always corectly and abide by eating just 6.564 kj (or 1568 kcal if you want). But I try and mostly it goes well. More complicated is to eat enough protein and above all the fiber. I look after protein because it is very important to sustaining the muscles. For me it’s easier to eat enough of protain than enough of fiber.
Protain is in meat, cheese, milk… And this is natural for me to put this food on my diet. But the fiber? It’s in all weird things and I’m not used to eat they. Maybe just legume but I can’t eat legume every day.
Continue reading “Good and bad days”
Loosing weight isn’t easy. You have appetite for everything what’t possible, on your tongue you can almost taste various flavours but it something like flavour-ghosts. They torture you, they ridicule you.
Suddenly you smell some aroma deep in your head and you must to eat. Wait! You musn’t! Oh, no. Next dissatisfied desire. And so it carries on, day after day. You are unhappy, hungry and pissed off.
And some people talking about how a little food is enought for they it makes you mad. They can’t be normal after all. They claim you that this appetite dissapear but it is whorst and whorst. You can’t break the habit. You are angry to these people that they lie to you but it is useless for you. You have appetite still
I will never be one of those whom is enought slice of air and drop of dew. And I think if I want to have 90 kg it will be life full of asceticism. The whole life I will have to guard what I will eat and fight with myself.
After last sad story must come cheerful story! I’m an optimist and sad things never take a long time. And this is the reason feeling joy because next week I have a meeting not with one but with two photographers! Yeah, I will be a model! 🙂
With one girl we are planning a coffee on Monday and than we will see what will be next.
With one boy we have a plan for photoshooting on Thursday. I’m so excited! My first real photoshooting!
And so you can await my photos soon!
The first post on my blog isn’t very cheerful. Full week I tryed hard, I ate not much, I was hungry.
And I lost just a half kilo!
Continue reading “Sad Story”