Two discovers

Two discovers

Today is the day of scary discovery. Yesterday I wrote about not eating chocolate in one evening in the week. And yesterday, I managed that! Yes, it was torturing but I manage that! I’m so happy!

Today it was worse. Yeah, I ate chocolate. Two hundred grams of chocolate to be exact. And with the first bite I felt great. All the tension faded. Suddenly I was absolutly relaxed and I felt big relief.

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Good and bad days

Good and bad days

It isn’t easy to eat always corectly and abide by eating just 6.564 kj (or 1568 kcal if you want). But I try and mostly it goes well. More complicated is to eat enough protein and above all the fiber. I look after protein because it is very important to sustaining the muscles. For me it’s easier to eat enough of protain than enough of fiber.

Protain is in meat, cheese, milk… And this is natural for me to put this food on my diet. But the fiber? It’s in all weird things and I’m not used to eat they. Maybe just legume but I can’t eat legume every day.

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Flavour-ghosts

Flavour-ghosts

Loosing weight isn’t easy. You have appetite for everything what’t  possible, on your tongue you can almost taste various flavours but it something like flavour-ghosts. They torture you, they ridicule you.

Suddenly you smell some aroma deep in your head and you must to eat. Wait! You musn’t! Oh, no. Next dissatisfied desire. And so it carries on, day after day. You are unhappy, hungry and pissed off.

And some people talking about how a little food is enought for they it makes you mad. They can’t be normal after all. They claim you that this appetite dissapear but it is whorst and whorst. You can’t break the habit. You are angry to these people that they lie to you but it is useless for you. You have appetite still

I will never be one of those whom is enought slice of air and drop of dew. And I think if I want to have 90 kg it will be life full of asceticism. The whole life I will have to guard what I will eat and fight with myself.